one time i was eating some chips and salsa with my mom and it was really spicy so i went “i feel like a dragon” because my mouth was fucking on fire and my mom just casually says “you only want to be a dragon so you can have that hiccup boy ride you”
it took her a few moments to realize her mistake
She knows you well
I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes
Babies have no concept of object permanence
That’s one of the sickest burns I’ve ever read.
uh yeah i’m a pretty big history buff *picks up rock* this has probably been here for a long time. *touches ground* old people once stood on this ground. maybe even dinosaurs
"you can’t be just friends with people of the gender you’re attracted to"
myth actually true. i, as a bisexual, can confirm that i have no friends.
pansexuals spend their lives in solitude, with only rocks for company
asexuals have the whole world as their oyster